i should so be reading instead of this right now

I've kept saying that ill start this again soon.
So i guess soon is now?

Should I catch you up with all thats happened? No
Am i going to? No...kinda
Ok so when i left it was fall 2008. To be quite honest, 2008 was the most enjoyable year of my life.

Then 2009 hit...and i chuckle.

I don't know how to communicate a chuckle via blog, (other than to tell you that Im currently chuckling) so i'll just reserve my right to tell you that all i can do when i think about 2009 is chuckle.

Why a chuckle? Well, lets look at a chuckle.

Its not really indicative of anything is it? It could be the result of something funny, or something awkward, maybe something infuriating, something ironic, something false, something SO false that its funny and makes someone furious and makes the rest of the conversation awkward which is all kind of ironic.
So. A chuckle it is. Most likely because things could not have looked worse from the middle of 2009.

But life didn't end when June 2009 hit did it?
No it did not.

Here we sit in April 2010 and it is remarkably different than 2009
Some examples...
Im back in school-yippee!
I got a sweet job that pays a lot that allows me to go to school.
I moved into an apartment off campus.
and a whole lot other things thats happened that make me happy

and thats where my mind has been these past few nights.
Now the concept of happy is so baffling to me. I know empirically that i like to be happy. I also know that i dont want to be unhappy. but other than that, what constitutes happiness? Who can ever be happy when you look at the world with all its pain and hurt and suffering?
But it happens doesnt it? Something distracts you for an hour, maybe a day or two, and in those few moments, you are happy. Well the conclusion of that process is that happiness isnt a good thing.(been there, done that, possiblyhadanexistentialbreakdownbecauseofit.)
So obviously Im looking at this wrongly.
Hopefully by the time i update this next i can have an answer for myself.
Toodles!